Most Times, I Don’t Drink Enough
I miss being on Facebook, partly because every time I had a new blog, I promoted it on Facebook, and I enjoyed the conversation that took place afterwards. Now, the only comments I receive are negative, but I’m not going to let that stop me. If anything, it spurs me on.
The latest comment referred to me as anorexic, alcoholic, mentally ill, delusional, and deserving to be alone. I thanked the person for writing it because I really did not think anyone read my blog any more, which is fine. I have said before that I like to write, and I don’t care if I have an audience. While it is nice, I can do it without the extrinsic rewards of likes and loves.
As for the recent comment about me: I am not anorexic, and I am not super skinny. I could lose another six pounds, and I would still be in a healthy weight range. I could also gain another twenty-four pounds and still be in a healthy weight range. I brought my weight up in my previous blog because I have maintained my weight for at least seven months now which is healthy. Also, I have dealt with sport injuries for the past fifteen years, including stress fractures, sacrolilitis, sciatica, and a pulled hamstring. All of those injuries have made me more aware of my body, including my limits. So, I feel comfortable in my skin. As far as weight goes, I do not like being too thin just as I do not like being overweight. I only weigh myself once a month, and I leave it at that. People who suffer from anorexia have an obsession with food, and I do not. I eat when I am hungry. Other than that, food is not that important to me. For example, I am not going to down a pint of ice cream because I am depressed. Instead, if I am feeling down, I turn on music and dance, or I go out and dance. It’s a healthier solution, and it is more fun.
As far as me being mentally ill, the blog I wrote about my experience with bipolar was the scariest one for me to write because I felt that people would always see me that way. While I do get sad sometimes and excited over things other times, I feel those are normal, genuine emotions. There is such a thing as emotional intelligence, and because I have experienced a wide range of emotions throughout my life, I do feel that I am emotionally intelligent. That helps me as a writer and with getting along with other people. I am not suicidal and I do not have racing thoughts. If I stopped my medication, yes, I would get that way. However, I know that is a bad road to go down, and I am not going to do that. I take care of myself.
While it wasn’t pointed out in the criticism, I do remember stating that like fine wine I get better with age. What I meant is that all women get better with age, as long as they take care of themselves. Ageing is one thing that does not scare me. I do not need to pretend my life is over when I am only in my forties, or when I am in my fifties, sixties, seventies, eighties, nineties, and beyond. I can be sexy well past the age of one hundred because it is a mindset, and we have the medical advances and knowledge to keep people feeling young. I know I have more energy than a lot of twenty year olds, and that is good enough for me.
As far as delusional goes, I do not know what you mean, Anonymous, so you might have to clarify that. I believe that it is important to keep learning and to push boundaries. So, please tell me what is delusional about that. You mentioned something about me being alone and deserving to be alone. Human contact is nice; I like touch and being with someone, but it is not the focus of my world. I do not need a romantic relationship to feel satisfied in life. If I do get into that kind of relationship, it will be because I want to, and not because I need to. My life is full, and, overall, it is happy; I do not need to rely on someone else to fulfil me.
As far as alcohol goes, sometimes I do drink too much (like when I initially wrote this blog–it’s a good thing I can edit). But the truth is, most times, I don’t drink enough. I also do not obsess over alcohol, and I can have a good time without it. So, no, I do not consider myself to be an alcoholic.